


I can take you higher

by Willowisdarkagain



Category: Holby City
Genre: 1987, AU University, F/F, Threesome - F/F/M, but Serena only sleeps with Bernie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowisdarkagain/pseuds/Willowisdarkagain
Summary: “Do you think he didn’t see it tonight? Or maybe he already knew what you wanted and he gave it to you. A pretty playground for her girlfriend, where he could make sure you wouldn’t hurt yourself, stray too far.”It's pretty much about Bernie and Serena meeting at the wrong time in the wrong place. Angst, smut and a bit of fluff. Marcus is there but no one really cares.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to TwoBeatsAtOne for being a lovely Beta and to daisydoctor13 for answering my boring questions about University in the UK:)

Bernie meets Marcus the first day of the first year of Uni. They shares some classes, study together and become fast friends. Bernie has never had a friend like him, always there to cheer her up, talk all night about silly things and deep stuff she never told anyone. She’s brighter than him, better at Uni, but he’s never envious of her, he says he’s proud of her and it’s handy to have a genius around when there’s biology involved. He has a couple of girlfriends during second year but never strays too far from Bernie, “Mates first, Bernie, mates are forever.” He tells her with his funny grin, but his voice is serious like when he’s telling her a secret.

When the third year of Uni begins and Marcus kisses her on the first day back, it only feels like the natural evolution of their relationship. What’s better that being with your best mate? And it’s almost like it’s always been, sharing classes, studying together, going out a few nights every week. Marcus has other mates now, all boys, but she’s always preferred male company. Marcus says she swears like a soldier, sits on stools like one, maybe she should just enroll. They still go on rides in the weekends on Marcus’ Triumph Bonneville and Bernie loves speed, she’s faster than him and he always says it’s the last time he lets her drive but it never is. There’s something new between them too, Marcus wants to kiss her a lot, she’s never enjoyed snogging too much. But Marcus is also quite adventurous with sex and she enjoys that, the thrill of it. What’s better than being on adventures with your best mate? She likes the adrenaline of a shag in the park at night, or in the dark corner of the library. She loves when Marcus sends her a little note in class daring her to do something because she’s so competitive she’d probably throw herself from a bridge just to win a bet. And they’re best mates, they trust each other, they have each others’ back. And she’s learning to like slower, softer sex when Marcus feels all romantic and sweet, she’s still not there yet but she will be. And the next time they’re secretly touching and giggling in the pub and everything is fun and exciting again. 

Until one day Marcus dares her to sleep with another woman and Bernie doesn’t know what to say.  
“Together, I mean. The three of us.” They’re in bed and he stands on his elbow to look at her.  
“I understood that.” She says coldly.  
“Ha! Am I finally going to win a bet? Too bourgeois, are you? Your parents would be proud.”  
Bernie rolls her eyes. “Somehow I don’t think I’ll bring this up at Christmas dinner.”  
Marcus laughs and nuzzles her neck. “Too straight?”  
She swallows. “It must be that.”  
He kisses her softly. “Will you think about it, though?”  
“Alright.” She’s already thinking about it too much so she pulls him down on her to get it out of her mind.

Two weeks later he barges in her room breathless. “I found her!”  
Bernie is studying, cross legged on the chair of her desk. “Who?”  
“The perfect girl.”  
“I thought that was me.”  
“Right. The second perfect girl. You’ll just love her. She’s already done it or so I’ve heard. This is her last semester. Dark hair, dark eyes, really pretty. You are prettier, obviously.”  
“Marcus, I didn’t say yes.”  
“I know, I just want you to meet her, that’s all.”  
Bernie doesn’t want to sleep with another girl. She would rather be in a war zone than in bed with a girl. She always feels her stomach clenching when she’s with a pretty girl, something like fear and a deep desire to run as fast as she can. “Marcus…”  
“She’s at the pub, waiting.”  
“Now?” Bernie almost shouts. “What did you tell her?”  
“Nothing. Come on, just have a chat with her.”  
He’s got his puppy face on, the one that so often works on Bernie. It just annoys her now but she knows he will not let this go easily. “Ok, but if I don’t like her, that’s it. We won’t talk about this anymore.”

When they get to the pub Marcus points at the bar. All Bernie can see is a small crowd of boys and then hears a silvery laugh from the center. She’s relieved, that girl won’t probably even look at her.  
“Take a table, I’m going to get her.” Marcus leaves her and Bernie finds a place to sit at the end of the room. Her palms are unusually sweaty and she rubs them on her jeans. The girl is behind Marcus and she can’t properly see her until she’s standing in front at her.  
“Serena McKinnie.” She says offering her hand and Bernie is glad she’s dried hers.  
“Bernie Wolfe.”  
“Oh I know, your cute boyfriend told me all about you.”  
Bernie glares at him and Marcus hurries. “Totally not true. Beer for everyone?” He says going back to the bar and ignoring the plea in Bernie’s eyes.  
Serena pats her arm sitting next to her. “I won’t bite you.” She winks and Bernie blushes. “You’re adorable.” Serena laughs. “I think I’ll change my previous statement.”  
Bernie’s face is burning and her voice takes an angry turn. “I don’t know what he told you but…”  
“Hey, it’s ok, I’m sorry.” Serena squeezes her hand. “I was just trying to make a good impression but I blew it, didn’t I?”  
She seems honest and Bernie can’t figure out why a girl like that, so beautiful and outgoing, would ever wanted to make a good impression on her. “No, it’s… I’m just not sure what’s going on.”  
“Do you want me to tell you?” Serena says softly.  
Bernie smiles because Serena is smiling and apparently it’s contagious. “Would be nice.”  
“You have a handsome boyfriend with a naughty mind. Not a bad combination if you ask me. He wants to play a game with you and me and I think he’s now not so brave, hiding at the bar hoping we sort it out for him.”  
“I don’t want to play.” Bernie blurts out.  
“See? Easy as pie.” Serena stands up and gives her a sweet smile, her nose wrinkling lightly. “I’ll let the two of you…”  
“But if I would…” Bernie says surprising both of them. She doesn’t want Serena to leave so soon, maybe they can talk a little more. “How it… How would it…”  
“…work?” Serena finishes for her and sits down again. “I’m not an expert but I reckon… There’s always something sad in not being spontaneous, don’t you think? But I guess this should be an exception. We should tell each other what we want and what we don’t beforehand.” Serena chuckles. “It would be really awkward waiting the last possible second to tell Marcus that he can’t have sex with me.”  
“What do you mean? What else is there?” Bernie can see Serena biting hard her cheeks trying not to laugh to her face.  
“This was really a bad idea, Bernie, but it was a pleasure meeting you.”  
And it finally clicks in Bernie’s brain. “You want to have sex with me?”  
“No!” Serena holds her chest in mock horror. “I just met you, for God’s sake. I was thinking tomorrow.”  
Bernie laughs. “This is the wildest conversation I ever had.”  
“I wish I could say the same.” Serena sighs emphatically.  
Bernie burst in another fit of laughter because Serena has a funny, irresistible face and because she was so tense when she came here and so sure she would feel uncomfortable or scared or mildly disgusted. While now she just wants to impress Serena, trying to be a little like her. Because she’s just that competitive and everybody likes to make a good impression.  
So, Bernie tilts her head and finds that hoarse voice Marcus loves so much. “You’re so wise and old…” She teases Serena but just a little, she doesn’t want to flirt, why would she, and she probably couldn’t even if she wanted to.  
Serena furrows her brows, slightly lost. “We’re almost the same age.”  
“Old inside… experienced.” Bernie stretches the words with a glint of playfulness and something else in her eyes.  
“Alright kid, you’re having too much fun for someone who just blew me off.”  
“I’m still thinking about it.” Bernie crosses her fingers on the table and squares her shoulders, all serious. “There are other rules I should know of?”  
“Well, I reckon you’re going to have sex with Marcus…”  
Oh yes Marcus, she had forgotten about him for a moment. “I usually do.”  
“And he’ll probably will want to have sex with you. So we’re really missing only one last piece of the puzzle.” Serena’s voice is casual, as it would be talking about her favourite food, but she looks away at the end and this small, first sign of uncertainty warms Bernie.  
“You and me?” She says quietly.  
“That would be it, yes.”  
Bernie still wants to say no. But it’s a different no than before. It’s softer and full of different fears. “I can’t tell you now how I’ll feel tomorrow. Do you understand that?”  
“Yes.” Serena seems relieved. “To be honest, I can’t tell you either.”  
“But I’m sure I’ll be hungry around eight. We can all go to dinner? No pressure, just being together.”  
“Sounds perfect.” Serena smiles and Bernie stares in her eyes, comfortable in the silence.

When Marcus finally comes back with the beers, Bernie straightens up and nods a thank you taking hers.  
“So, do you like my girl?”  
“Oh my God, Marcus.” Bernie blushes.  
“I like your girl as much as your endless smoothness.” Serena chuckles. “We’re having dinner tomorrow.”  
“That’s great. Where?”  
“You choose. But I require red wine with my dinners so please don’t be a cheap ass.”  
“I’ll be a true gentleman.”  
“Ha!” Bernie says and the other two turns to her. “What?”  
They talk about Uni, mostly. Serena is on her last year so she knows well the professors and all their foibles. She makes Bernie laugh again, many times. Marcus makes her laugh too but it comes from the intimacy of sharing so much time together. Serena is new and smart and funny. Bernie thinks she should feel that clench at her stomach she always feels with pretty girls but she’s enjoying herself too much, Serena is a force of nature, so pleasurably overwhelming. When it’s time to go home Marcus goes to pay their tab and Serena leans to whispers in Bernie’s ear. “I’m not your mate, you already have one.” She steps back, looks into her eyes with a smile. “Wear thigh-high stockings tomorrow, I can’t stop imagining you in them.” She winks at Bernie who stares at her slightly open mouthed.

On the way back to Bernie’s house Marcus can’t stop talking and asking questions until Bernie stops in the middle of the road and tells him that he can’t shag Serena.  
“Oh. Why?”  
“First, because we’re still thinking about the whole thing. Second, because she told me that. We can all be merry in one bed but you can’t have…” Bernie curses her prude education. “You can’t have direct sexual contact.”  
“But you can?”  
“I can.” She utters with a confidence she doesn’t actually feels.  
He thinks about it for a moment. “That’s cool.”  
“I bet it is.” Bernie mumbles. “I’m tired, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She kisses his cheek and jogs away.

Bernie’s never needed many hours but she always falls asleep as soon as she hits the pillow. Not tonight. Tonight there’s a new crack on the ceiling, someone running down the stairs, an ambulance in the distance. Tonight there’s Serena McKinnie who planted herself in Bernie’s head with a mischievous grin and very bad intentions. Bernie sits up and rubs her eyes. She should say no to all this. She has a nice life, she has Marcus, isn’t it enough? And what if it’s a complete disaster, what if Bernie makes a fool of herself. What would Serena think of her? What if it’s so incredibly good she… Bernie shakes her head and goes to the bathroom to wash her face. She looks in the mirror, cold drops running down her skin. “You coward.”  
She passes her dresser still lost in thoughts but then goes back. Opens the second drawer and under her socks there’s a thin plastic bag with a pair of black thigh-high stockings. She sits on her bed and tears the plastic away. Takes the light fabric between her fingers and brushes it carefully.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kudos and comments, they always put a smile on my face. I hope you enjoy this chapter... let me know:)

They’re meeting Serena in front of the pub and walking from there to the restaurant. Bernie has chosen a black knee-length dress of soft cotton with no sleeves and a light blue shirt with a wide neckline underneath. She isn’t aiming for a nun look but she doesn’t have many dresses to pick from neither. She puts on some mascara and tries again a lipstick she bought out of a whim a few months before but she still doesn’t like the dark shade and she cleans it off with toilet paper. When Marcus knocks, she wears her green jacket and her worn-down Dr.Martens without tying the laces.  
“Don’t you own any other shoes?”  
“No.”  
They’re too tense to say anything else until the pub is in sight. “Hey.” Marcus holds her hand and makes her stop. “It’s just dinner, ok? I don’t expect anything else.”  
Bernie nods and smiles trying to calm her nerves. “Let’s not keep the lady waiting.”  
Serena is chatting with a couple of guys Bernie recognizes from Uni.   
“I think we got competition.” Marcus jokes.  
But Serena says goodbye to the boys and goes meet them with a charming smile. “I was getting worried and really close to find an alternative for the evening.”  
“Marcus takes hours with his hair.”  
“I don’t.”  
“More than me.”  
“I wouldn’t brag about that.”  
“Alright, alright.” Serena links arms with both of them and pulls them along. “I need wine if you’re going to behave like this all night.”

It’s an upscale restaurant and the other guests are quite older than them. They take a small table, each one occupying a side with Serena still between them. Marcus holds back the chair for them and pours the water while they wait for the waiter.   
“It’s a nice place.” Serena says.  
“They have a great list of wines.” Marcus agrees.  
“Jesus, I feel like my mother.” Bernie sighs.  
“Oh God, me too.” Serena laughs. “Like mine, not yours. I feel guilty, I made you choose this place.”  
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Marcus is loving pretending to be fifty.”  
“Every second of it. All those years studying etiquette at an all boy school is about to pay up.”   
“See?” Bernie shrugs and takes a piece of bread. “He hates that my idea of fancy is a shot of whiskey in my pint.”  
“I don’t hate anything about you. I even find your reindeer onesie glamorous.”  
Bernie turns to Serena red on her face. “It’s not a onesie, it’s barely a sweater.”  
“It’s a onesie.” Marcus insists. “And it’s absolutely dead drop sexy.”   
Bernie is about to retort but the waiter comes with the menus. Serena asks for a bottle of wine and when they’re alone again Bernie has forgotten what she wanted to say. They take some time to read what’s on the menu asking each other’s preferences until Serena settles for risotto and Bernie and Marcus choose fillet.  
Bernie is devouring the last slice of bread by the time the waiter leaves with their order.  
“Have you been starving today?” Serena asks her but Bernie’s mouth is full and Marcus answers in her place.  
“She needs more calories than me.”  
“She’s lucky, I have to watch everything I eat.”  
“But you’re beautiful. I mean…” He darts a look to Bernie who’s still lazily chewing.  
“I think she’s beautiful too.” Bernie says calmly and swallows with a big sip of water. “I’ve never been jealous. I’ll hardy start tonight, Marcus.”  
“What a good sport you are.” Serena is smiling but it sounds too sweet to be really true. “What about you Marcus? Are you jealous?”  
“No, I don’t think so. There’s never been a reason anyway.”  
“So you don’t mind if I tell your girlfriend how gorgeous she is tonight.”  
“Of course not.”  
“And can I touch her?”  
“I’m not his property.” Bernie clarify, mildly offended.  
“Absolutely.” Serena turns swiftly to her. “Can I touch you?”   
Serena’s eyes are suddenly dark and burning and Bernie knows she just walked right where Serena wanted her. “Yes.” Bernie says because it would be cowardly to back off now and offers her hand, palm up on the table.  
Serena looks at it and smirks. “Later.” And, as nothing happened, she starts chatting with Marcus about her day. 

Bernie sits there, listening to them. They’re both charming and find easily things to talk about. Bernie just waits for her fillet so she’ll have something to do. She usually doesn’t mind being the quiet one but it bothers her that Marcus has all of Serena’s attention. She doesn’t know how to change that though, they seem to have so much in common, an endless list of topics to talk, laugh, joke about. And then she feels Serena’s foot against hers. Marcus always tells her to sit more composed, that she occupies too much space around her, so she pulls her feet under her chair. But here’s Serena’s foot again, without her shoe this time, running on her calf. She’s still talking animatedly with Marcus and Bernie stays still, waits, not sure for what.   
“Do you like it, Bernie?” Serena asks her and Bernie startles out of her reverie slightly panicked. “Is surgery your thing or you’ll be one of those doctor with a pretty desk?”  
“I’ll be a Trauma surgeon.”  
“Will you? And when did you decide that?” Marcus asks. “I thought you wanted to be an orthopedic like me.”  
“It’s not that different. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”  
“Were you going to tell me, Bern?”  
“I just did. It’s not a big deal.” But she knows it is and blames Serena for distracting her, making her slip up.  
“Yes, well, I thought we were… never mind.”

The waiter arrives with their dinner and Bernie is more than glad for the interruption. Serena is again deep in conversation with Marcus and is not touching Bernie anymore. Bernie finishes first and excuses herself to go to the toilet, not that they would miss her anyway.   
When she’s washing her hands Serena comes in. “Are you enjoying yourself?”  
“Yes, sure.”  
“You don’t sound very convincing.”   
Bernie shakes her wet hands and activates the dryer hanging on the wall. “It’s a bit like listening to the radio being with you two. Doesn’t require much interaction.”  
She hasn’t heard Serena coming behind her and when she speaks Bernie jumps slightly. “I’m just being considerate. I’m about to shag his girlfriend after all.”  
A shot of electricity runs down her spine and Bernie wishes she could give as good as she gets, playing this game as effortlessly as Serena. But a hesitant “I don’t think so” is all she can manage. She tries to turn around but Serena places a hand on her stomach and pulls Bernie against her.  
“Are you sure?” Serena whispers.  
“Yes.” But Serena is breathing on her neck and Bernie’s trembling voice weakens her statement.  
Serena runs her free hand down Bernie’s dress and fists it until she can touch her bare skin. “You didn’t wear these for me, then?” She slides a finger under the garter of Bernie’s stockings and when Bernie muffles a moan she makes it slap on her thigh. “I thought so.”  
The door opens to let a woman in and Serena steps back. “Need the loo, see you in a minute.” She tweets cheerfully, not even a hint of the intensity Bernie just witnessed.

Bernie sits at the table still unsettled but Marcus doesn’t notice.  
“So?” He asks not hiding his curiosity and impatience very well. “What do you think?”  
“I guess we all know what you think.” Bernie sighs. “Doesn’t it bother you if she… if we… not even a little?”  
“I’d be there.”  
“Yes, but it still would be someone else… touching me.”  
“If you don’t want to, it’s not a problem, Bern.” And he’s not humoring her, she knows he’s telling the truth. “But if you are worried about me…”  
“I’m not. It’s not at all what I was talking about.” Bernie says in frustration. “Doesn’t it bother you the idea that I might sleep with someone else, maybe liking it…” She adds tentatively.  
“Well, I hope you like it, otherwise what’s the point? It’s not torture, Bern, just sex.”  
“Yes, yes. This, again, it’s not what I’m talking about. But it’s fine. Let’s just see what happens, ok?” He’s about to answer but Bernie sees Serena coming back. “And please stop drooling all over her, she won’t change her mind and it’s not pretty to watch.”  
“You are jealous, then.” Marcus is obviously pleased.  
“Just trying to save a bit of your dignity, mate.”  
Marcus laughs at Bernie’s pouty face and Bernie softens at that. Thinks that he really is her best mate, that he always understands her so easily, like no one else before in her life. But now he’s so far away from her and Bernie has never felt so alone.  
“What’s so funny?” Serena says sitting down.  
“He thinks I’m jealous of you.”  
Serena takes her hand and smiles. “But we know better, don’t we?”  
Bernie nods. “We do.” Because pretending now seems just silly. Marcus will never understand, Serena already does.  
And from that moment on, Bernie starts drifting away from Marcus, all the intimacy and trust slowly fading away. While Serena sees right through her.

“We can go to the pub.” Marcus suggests when they leave the restaurant.  
“Or we can go to my place.” Bernie says and gains a surprised look from the other two. “Oh, please, like you weren’t just waiting for me to say that.”  
Serena laughs. “I think it was your charming subtlety that had us. And it might work for your boy but I don’t like to be summoned, I need a bit of sweet talking.”  
Bernie rolls her eyes and steps in front of her. Serena is buttoning her coat up but Bernie opens it again and slides her hands inside. “Would you like to come to my house…” She whispers sweetly, but then digs her fingers in Serena’s hips and adds with her normal tone. “…where I can finally kiss that stupid grin off your face?”  
“Why waiting?” Serena leans on and kisses her.  
Bernie didn’t imagined it like this. The warmth of Serena’s body against hers. All her curves and her softness. Her hand playing at the nape of her neck. Her lips and tongue so sure in her mouth but calm and reassuring, tasting of wine and chocolate dessert. Bernie didn’t imagined it like this at all.   
When the kiss ends Serena stares at her worried, a little frightened just like Bernie is.  
“This way.” Marcus is a few feet away, clearly in a hurry.  
Serena smiles gently at Bernie, takes her hands from under her coat and squeezes them. “Shall we?”

They reach Marcus holding hands and Serena accepts the arm Marcus is offering. “We all agree on the rules, don’t we?” Marcus nods and Serena looks at Bernie. “And we can all back away any time, ok?”  
“Um?” Bernie is still mulling about the kiss. “Oh, yes, I know.”

When they get in Bernie’s room they take off their jackets and stand awkwardly in silence until Serena grunts. “Are we going to imagine it or do it?”  
“Do it.”  
“It was rhetorical, Marcus.” Bernie rolls her eyes.  
“It was.” Serena agrees. “But I’m going to reward his enthusiasm anyway.” Serena walks to him and Marcus smiles cheekily to Bernie before receiving a kiss on the lips. Serena looks at Bernie but there’s no reaction so she kisses Marcus again, this time a real kiss. Bernie doesn’t like it, wants to stop them but doesn’t know how. Marcus hands are all over Serena’s back, almost on her skirt. She wants to be the one touching Serena, she was told she would be, why isn’t she? And then Marcus is grabbing her arse, pulling Serena closer and Bernie can’t think anymore. Walks to them, through them, and Serena smiles and whispers. “Finally.”  
This kiss is different from the first. Bernie is angry now, possessive, ready to take what’s hers. She pushes Serena to the bed, makes her sit down and straddles her. Marcus takes off her boots, then kneels behind her and pulls at her dress. She stands enough for the fabric to slid under her. Serena makes her lift her arms and Marcus removes the dress and shirt. Bernie has to break the kiss for a moment and sees Serena looking at her, all of her.  
“You are… you are…” Serena stutters and Bernie thinks she’s made her speechless for once and tries to see herself through Serena’s eyes, wearing a black bra and thong, the dress would have shown any other kind, and the thigh-high stockings Serena requested. This is not what she normally wears and even if she’s quite proud of her body, it feels like she’s telling a lie.  
“Enough of that.” Serena utters holding her chin, brushing her thumb on Bernie’s lower lip. “Kiss me again.” And Bernie does because there’s nothing else in the world except Serena’s mouth on hers. Not even Marcus taking his clothes off, nipping at her neck, leaving a trail of kisses down her spine.  
Serena’s hands run smoothly on her arms and down her back, grab her thighs encouraging her to get closer. Then Marcus’ mouth disappears from Bernie’s waist and so does Serena’s right hand. When it comes back it’s wet and slips between them, pulls Bernie’s thong aside and Bernie’s hips buckle before Serena even touches her. Serena deepens the kiss and the pressure of her fingers. Then she pulls back with a sweet smile. “Ok?”  
“Yes.” But it’s not ok because Bernie wants more, wants everything.

Serena pushes her back. “Hold her.” She tells Marcus and he lets Bernie lie on his chest, puts his arms under her thighs. Serena’s fingers slide down on her sex and slip inside. Bernie screams and grabs Marcus’ neck behind her with one hand and Serena’s shoulder with the other. And it lasts forever, it doesn’t last enough. Serena inside of her, on her, Marcus keeping her legs spread, holding her still. And it’s so frightening how good it feels but she’s not scared because Marcus is keeping her safe, while Serena is giving her everything else.  
When she comes Serena brushes her face, tucks her hair back and asks Marcus to pick her up. He puts Bernie on the bed, lies next to her and they both watch Serena undress.   
“We’re all very pretty, aren’t we?” Serena says once she’s naked. “But now Bernie is overly dressed.” She kneels at the end of the bed and bends Bernie’s legs, unhurriedly rolling down one stockings at the time. “Are you a good lover, Marcus? Do you take your time with her?”  
“She doesn’t like it when I do.”  
“Doesn’t she?” Serena looks at Bernie who looks away.  
“I’m here, you know?” Bernie mutters.  
“You’re welcome to talk anytime.” Serena kisses the inside of her knee. “So, you won’t like it if I take it slow?” Bernie doesn’t answer and Serena’s lips travels up nipping and licking her inner thigh until Bernie’s breathing hitches and Serena smirks. “It’s terrible, isn’t it?” She hooks Bernie’s thong with her fingers and takes it off. Then starts kissing up the other thigh. “What do you want me to do?” Bernie just stares at her because she never had to answer a question like that.  
“Should I ask Marcus? I bet he’s got some ideas.”  
“No. Come here.”  
Serena crawls next to her and smiles. “What now?”  
“I’m not naked yet.”  
“How careless of me.” Serena says pulling down the straps. She reaches behind Bernie and unclasps her bra. Marcus helps her slide it off of Bernie’s arms and they begin kissing her breast together. And it’s not strange to have two sets of lips nipping at her skin or both her nipples sucked at the same time. She can tell the difference, can focus on Serena, let Marcus be just Marcus. But then Serena guides Marcus’ hand down Bernie’s stomach, uses his fingers and her own to stroke Bernie’s sex and it gets harder to make a distinction. Impossible when they both thrust into her. But the pace is new, the palm against her clit is soft and perfect, like the mouth she can’t stop kissing.

When Bernie opens her eyes Serena is smiling at her. “You are gorgeous when you come.”  
“Am I?” Her voice huskier than usual. “And what about you?”  
“Do you want to see?”  
“Yes. But I’m not sure how.”  
Serena takes Bernie’s hand and lays it on her waist. Bernie brushes her thumb on her skin, runs her hand on the swell of her hip.  
“That’s a good start.” Serena says softly.   
Bernie nips at her shoulder, licks the hollow of her clavicle. “Ok?”  
“Very good.” Serena murmurs while Bernie pushes her on her back and nuzzles her breast.  
“You’re so different from me. I think I like you better.” Bernie whispers and takes a nipple in her mouth. Serena gasps and Bernie begins to explore all the ways she can make her gasp again. Until Serena can’t stand it anymore.  
“Bernie, please.”  
Bernie raises her head, frowning. “What is it?” Serena glares at her and Bernie understands. “I’m sorry. I guess you were waiting for this?” She slips her hand between them but stops when she feels curly hairs. “I really don’t know what I’m doing.”   
Serena kisses her. “It’s ok, I’m here, Marcus is here. We can help you if you want.”  
Bernie nods, lets her hand slip further and her eyes widen, her breath hitches. Serena kisses her again and Bernie looses herself in all the warmth and wetness.  
Serena spreads her legs and Bernie’s knee falls in the middle. She touches her, feels her clit under her fingers.   
“Inside?” Serena asks and Bernie is unsure, she’s just getting confident with what she’s doing, she doesn’t want to mess it up now. She looks at Serena and then at Marcus.  
“Do it to me.” Bernie asks him and then turns to Serena. “Is it ok?”  
“It’s ok, Bernie.”  
Marcus touches her, wets his finger and slides two inside Bernie. And Bernie does the same to Serena. She’s almost on top of Serena and Marcus is behind her so it’s different but she can mimic his movements enough to relax and enjoy what she’s doing. And Serena likes it to, Bernie can see it, Serena tells her many times. And each time turns Bernie on even more. She asks Marcus to fuck her and Marcus takes his fingers out, places himself behind Bernie, supports his weight on his arms. And Bernie puts his hand between her thigh and Serena so every time Marcus thrusts in her, Serena can feel it too. And it all becomes blurred and frenzied, she doesn’t know where her body ends and the others’ begin. But it’s Serena’s eyes she stares into, it’s Serena’s voice she hears, Serena’s orgasm who sends her over the edge.


	3. Chapter 3

When Marcus falls asleep, Bernie and Serena are still kissing. It’s slow and deep now, Bernie can’t bring herself to stop.   
“Ditch the boy and run away with me, Miss Wolfe.” Serena says against her mouth and then smiles.  
“I can’t.” Bernie whispers trying to recapture those beautiful lips.  
“Of course you can. Just for a bit. I want to keep kissing you without him snoring next to us.”   
Bernie frowns. “I think he’d notice my absence.”  
“I promise I’ll return you safe and sound.” Serena kisses her again and Bernie slides closer. “Come on, let’s go outside.”  
“Outside?” Bernie cups Serena’s breast. “It’s the middle of the night.” She murmurs and then sucks gently at her nipple.  
Serena moans quietly. “I really don’t want to wake him up, Bernie.” She says a little more seriously.  
“Oh.” She hasn’t thought of that, she’s been too focused on Serena. “Do you want to go?”  
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Serena brushes Bernie’s cheek with her thumb. “But come with me. A night walk, just you and me.”  
Bernie nods. “Alright.”

They gingerly slip out of bed and Bernie puts on a grey hoodie and a pair of jeans. She writes a note for Marcus while Serena wears the blue dress she had at the restaurant. They grabs their shoes and jackets, turn off the light and close the door.  
Serena runs down the stairs, her heels still in her hands, while Bernie is leaning on the wall busy with her boots. “That’s unfair.” But she’s still whispering and Serena pretends not to hear her. When she finally runs out of the building Serena catches her from the collar of the jacket and kisses her against the wall.  
“Isn’t this better? A bit of fresh air and…” But Bernie kisses her again. “Yes. That.” Serena smiles and takes Bernie’s hand.   
There are still people around but they find an isolated bench hidden under a tree. Bernie jumps on it and sits on the seat back. She searches in her pocket and offers a cigarette to Serena who shakes her head.  
“I didn’t know you smoke.”  
“I don’t.” Bernie mumbles lighting her fag.  
“Why now then?”  
“It’s been an eventful night, I think it deserves a fag.” She picks a small piece of tobacco from her lip. “Does it bother you?”  
“It will change the way you taste.”  
Bernie looks at Serena, then to the cigarette and makes to throw it away but Serena laughs and grabs her wrist. “Please, it doesn’t bother me, really.”  
“Ok.” But Bernie stays still until Serena takes her hand away. “So, I want to be a Trauma surgeon, what about you?”  
“The serious questions now? I’m still undecided but it’ll be vascular or cardio. And I’m a libra by the way. My favorite colour is purple but that keeps changing. I had to remove my wisdom teeth last year, hurt like a bitch. And I have a big crush on Annie Lennox but I just realized I wouldn’t let Dave Stewart see me naked just to sleep with her.” Serena has talked quickly and stops abruptly. Some ash falls on her jacket and she brushes it off.  
“Sorry.” Bernie says quietly.  
“It’s just ash.”  
“No, I mean…”  
“I know what you mean and there’s no need.”  
Bernie takes a last drag from her cigarette and throws it away. She sits next to Serena and puts her arm around her. “Want to talk about it?”  
“No.” Serena lays her head on Bernie’s shoulder. “Wasn’t weird before, why does it feels weird now?”  
“I don’t know.” Bernie kisses her forehead. “But I think it’ll go away. Things at night always look bigger than they are.”  
“I liked it, you know. It’s just…”  
“Too much?”  
Serena nods. “How do you feel?”  
“I don’t. I’m not good with feelings. I like to do things. And tonight we did a thing and I enjoyed it quite a lot. So, that’s it for me.”  
Serena chuckles. “Do you actually believe this rubbish?” She tilts her head up to look at Bernie. “Who told you you don’t have feelings? Why did you believe them?”  
Bernie shrugs and looks away. “I thought you already did that.”  
“I didn’t but I know the asshole who spread the rumor. At least now it’s true.”  
“Why did you do it then?”  
“It was on my college bucket list.” She jokes lightly but Bernie frowns and Serena bites on her lip. “For you, of course.”  
Bernie blushes but it’s dark and Serena won’t see it so she can venture. “Was it worth it?”  
“That depends on…” Serena stops and shakes her head. “No, actually, it was absolutely worth it anyway.” She smiles when Bernie lifts her chin and kisses her. “You’re rather good at this.” Serena says pulling away and Bernie snorts. “Why? You are.”  
“I’ve been told that I’m impatient, distracted, easily bored… never that I was good at snogging.” She’s about to get embarrassed for this confession but then something else crosses her mind. “I’m better at sex, I think. But not with you. I was a rubbish with you. I’m sorry.” Serena studies her face in silence and Bernie starts to fidget.  
“You sure?” Serena finally asks and Bernie nods. “Then why do I want to sleep with you again?”  
Bernie’s answer would be rational and unpleasant, like telling Serena that they can’t sleep together again, so Bernie doesn’t say anything and lets Serena kiss her. Short, sweet kisses melt with words. “Just me and you this time. And if you’ll need help I’ll give it to you. But you won’t, I know you won’t. Do you?”  
“I do.” Bernie says because she can’t sleep with Serena again but if she could she wouldn’t need anyone else to tell her how. She deepens the kiss and pulls Serena to her until she’s straddling her. Serena hands travels under her jacket, her hoodie and touch Bernie’s naked skin. “Sorry.” Serena mumbles because her hands are cold but they keep trailing up until Bernie feels chill breeze on her waist.   
“Wait, wait.” Serena stops abruptly and gets off of Bernie’s lap. She adjust her dress and sits next to Bernie who’s looking confused at her. Then four guys pass close the bench and Bernie freezes.  
When they’re gone Serena holds her hand. “We can’t stay here.”  
“No, I should go… but I’ll take you home first.”  
“And that’s it?”  
Bernie rubs her boots on the ground. “Yes.”  
“I can walk myself.” Serena stands up and takes a few steps before turning around. “You’re not even going to say goodnight?”  
“Goodnight.” Bernie says low. She pulls her feet under the bench and tags her hands in her pockets. She won’t get up, won’t run to Serena, won’t kiss her again.  
“I thought you liked me.” Serena states with more than a hint of disappointment in her voice. But Bernie just shrugs and keeps her eyes down so Serena keeps talking. “Well, I do. I like you. I understand this is not the best situation but…”  
Bernie looks up at her and cuts her short. “I don’t think you do.”  
“What? Like you?”  
“No, understand. Really understand what you’re asking of me.”  
Serena walks to the bench. “Then tell me.”  
Bernie rolls the pack of cigarettes in her pocket but she’s calm, she knows what she wants, she made this decision a long time ago. “I’m happy with my life. Why should I mess with that? For one more shag?”  
“No, we could…”  
“Could what, Serena? You won’t be here in a few months, we couldn’t tell anybody and I don’t want to be like that.”  
“Like that? It’s not really a choice, Bernie.”  
“Watch me.” She wants to sound smug but it comes out just bitter.  
Serena nods and goes back sitting next to Bernie. “Does Marcus know?” Bernie looks away and Serena keeps talking. “Do you think he didn’t see it tonight? Or maybe he already knew what you wanted and he gave it to you. A pretty playground for her girlfriend, where he could make sure you wouldn’t hurt yourself, stray too far.”  
Bernie turns slowly to her. “Fuck you. He would never do that.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Serena rubs her face. “Shit.” She hisses looking at the makeup on her hand. “I just feel played Bernie. But not by Marcus. Or you.”

Bernie understands that and she’s not angry. She would have been with anyone else getting so easily close to her, making her feel so exposed. She would have been bloody furious and scared out of her mind. But not with Serena. “Do you really think he knows after tonight?”  
Serena bites her lip and doesn’t answer right away. “No, I don’t think he knows.” And then adds hastily. “You looked at me the whole time, he didn’t see what I saw.”  
Bernie doesn’t want to know but asks anyway. “What did you see?”  
Serena smiles. “Something right.” She whispers. “Something perfect. Something no one should be ashamed of.” She takes Bernie’s face between her hands. “What did you see in my eyes?”  
Tenderness and longing and life itself, Bernie thinks, but she’s not good with words so she leans forward and leaves a kiss on Serena’s lips. “Everything.”  
Serena smiles and sighs, sad and tired, looking older than she is. “You know, I might accept your offer to walk me home, now.”

Serena walks with her arm around Bernie’s. “This shoes are a murder weapon. Do you think in the future they’ll make heels bearable?”  
“Maybe. If men start wearing them, then they might actually put money in finding a solution.”  
“Probably true.” Serena chuckles. “And I can’t wait for flying cars.”  
“Skateboard without wheels.” Bernie says seriously.  
“Supersonic planes might be more useful.”   
Bernie looks at her in mock annoyance. “Laser guns.”  
“Spending Christmas on the moon.” Serena shouts and Bernie laughs.  
“A woman Doctor Who.”  
“Two middle aged women sharing a house with a poodle.”  
Bernie cringes. “A labrador?”  
“Both then.” Serena rolls her eyes. “And also running the world.”  
“Yes, with laser cannons.” Bernie’s eyes sparkles and Serena pushes her hips against her making them both stumble.  
“There will be no need, the world will be at peace.”  
“Just one for fun then.” Bernie pleads. “In the garden.”  
“Risking an accident with my puddle?”  
“Maybe it won’t be an accident.” Bernie mutters.  
Serena stops dead in her track. “Bernie Wolfe, are you threatening my dog?”  
“I could never, Serena. Your puddle is safe with me.” Bernie says gravely but then burst in a laugh and Serena pushes her away. “Are you mad at me?”  
“Yes.” Serena pouts.  
Bernie takes her in her arms. “I’m sorry, I swear. I’ll love it just as much as the labrador.”  
Serena squeezes her eyes. “You sure?”  
“Sure.” Bernie kisses her nose.  
“I’m not convinced.” Serena says and Bernie kisses lightly her lips. “I need more convincing.” And Bernie obliges.

When they arrive at the house they’re still laughing and when Serena gets inside Bernie follows her because they’re still talking and it’s freezing. “I’ll make you a cup of tea.” Serena says and then keeps moving in the room with her coat on. “I don’t think I’ll get my body temperature right without a shower. Do you mind? It’ll take a minute.”  
Bernie takes her jacket and boots off and Serena starts undressing in the room so Bernie goes looking between the teabags, trying not to stare. When Serena gets in the bathroom she opens the water and some of the steam comes inside the room from the door she left ajar.   
“Bernie!”   
“Yes?”  
“Can you come here, please?”  
Bernie tries to think of an excuse but there isn’t any so she steps into the bathroom keeping her eyes down. “What is it?”  
Serena pulls the curtains aside. “I was thinking…”  
Bernie can’t hear anything else because the water is running so she walks closer but it’s a mistake because now she can see Serena’s lower body and Serena can grab her hoody and pull her inside with her. Bernie coughs under the hot water and Serena pushes her against the wall where the stream won’t hit her face. She rubs the water away and opens her eyes. “What the hell, Serena.”  
“Don’t you need a shower?”  
“Yes, but my clothes don’t.”  
“You’re absolutely right.” Serena takes easily her hoody off, it’s harder with Bernie’s wet jeans but they manage. And it’s all a bit ridiculous so they’re giggling by the time Bernie is finally naked.  
“Now what?” Bernie asks breathless.  
“Now we get all warm and clean.” Serena kisses her and then picks up the shower gel.   
Bernie likes the feeling of Serena’s soapy body sliding against hers. Likes the smell, the hot water, Serena’s hands covering every inch of her skin. Likes the wet kisses and the soft moans. Likes how her fingers find Serena’s sex without effort, without even thinking. Loves the way Serena holds on to her, looks at her until the last possible second and then pulls her down for a kiss.  
They get out of the shower when the water starts getting too cold. They dries themselves with towels but the mat is too small for the both of them and they make a mess on the floor because they can’t stop kissing and touching.  
Serena runs to bed and Bernie puts her clothes on the radiator. Serena makes her sit between her legs, she already has the hair dryer ready and tries to use it on both of them.  
“This will take ages.” Bernie says looking at a brush, not sure it would speed up the process.  
“Yes, but I like the sound that makes. And having you between my legs.”  
Bernie smiles and turns to capture Serena’s lips. It doesn’t take long to forget about the hair dryer. Serena pulls at Bernie’s towel until it falls on the floor. Open hers to feel Bernie’s damp skin when she make her lie back on her. Bernie brushes her thighs while Serena plays with her breast.  
“I want to turn around.” Bernie mumbles between kisses.  
“Just a moment.” Serena’s hands trail down and spread Bernie’s knees until they’re resting over her own legs. “That’s better.” She trails her fingers up and down Bernie’s inner thighs getting closer every time. “Nice?”  
“Very much.” Bernie lies her head on Serena’s shoulder and arches her back when Serena finally touches her. “But I think there’s space for improvement.”  
“How…” But then Serena moans when she feels Bernie’s fingers slip between them.  
“Now it’s perfect.” Bernie smiles and closes her eyes.

It’s almost five and Bernie knows there isn’t much time left. But Serena is lying under her, tucking Bernie’s hair behind her ear, curling blond locks around her fingers, and it’s all that matters.  
“What’s your real name?”   
Bernie wrinkles her nose. “Berenice.”  
“Berenice.” Serena repeats slowly and for the first time Bernie almost likes it. But she’s still nowhere near to forgive her parents for that, or many other things. An open envelope on the bed table catches her eyes.  
“Harvard?”  
“Yes, next year.”  
Bernie laughs. “We really have an awful timing.” Serena frowns and Bernie cups her cheek. “It’s not funny, I know. But I don’t want to be sad, not now. Alright?” She waits for Serena to nod and then smiles again. “Harvard, uh? You must be pretty smart.”  
“Don’t look so surprised.”  
“This is not my surprised face.” Bernie says hoarsely and kisses her.   
“Turned on face?” Serena grins against her lips and Bernie mumbles a yes. “I really don’t think you needed a boost, should I be worried?”  
Bernie pins Serena’s hands over her head. “Probably.” And this time Bernie doesn’t need help. Knows exactly what Serena needs, knows exactly what she wants for once. She’s sure of herself, sure of her fingers, sure that the future will be worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in months I haven't a new story or a new chapter ready so this is it for now. Thank you for reading and making me smile with your comments. And thanks to TwoBeatsAtOne who made all this possible:)


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